Movie Popcorn: My Take
One of my favorite traditions when catching a flick on a Sunday afternoon is getting MOVIE POPCORN. Yes, I know it’s 73 bucks for a large popcorn, large soda, and sometimes chocolate covered raisins (lay off me, I’m starving), but it’s a must for me when it comes to my movie watching experience. There’s nothing better than havin’ a big ol’ tub of butter flavored corn right in my grill during a climactic high speed chase. You’re at the theater, you’ve (over)paid for parking & tickets, you’re about to see some super cool blockbuster, you GOTTA have the popcorn to go with it, that’s all there is to it. Heckle me all you want, theater popcorn KICKS ASS.
Now, you might be saying, “I’ve had movie popcorn that’s sucked before, why take the chance?” Let me stop you right there…Yes, sometimes theater popcorn can be flat out terrible. Sometimes you get to your seat, flop down, situate your items just right, finally get your girlfriend to stop talking, and settle in for the previews, only to find that your popcorn is stale, burnt or sometimes both. I absolutely HATE when this happens, and usually consider going out and taking my revenge on the concessions clerk, but it’s important not to let it ruin your theater popcorn experience. Trust me, guys…It’s a rarity. You’re gonna want that cowbell (popcorn).
Regal Cinemas have the best popcorn. That’s not opinion, that’s fact (If you didn’t already know this, don’t feel bad, that’s what I’m here for), so if you have an option of theaters, choose the closest Regal and you should be well on your way to an outstanding popcorn experience. If there aren’t any Regal theaters close, or if they’ve somehow made the 6pm movie mistake (explanation below), here are a few tips to help you out.
(6pm is the absolute worst time to show a movie, and theater owners who do it should have their business license revoked, or be shot. Or both. With a 6pm movie you don’t have time to grab dinner before unless you eat at 430pm like a retirement community, and if you wait until the movie is over you’re famished and you spend the last 30 minutes hoping the main character just drops dead so you can get to Outback for your Bloomin’ Onion. Not a fun movie experience.)
– Be Alert: Try using the senses our good Lord gave you and check out the scene before your purchase. Visibly, is the popcorn in a machine with a warming light (in working order)? Does it smell like burnt popcorn in the lobby? And of course, is fresh popcorn overflowing out of the kettle?
– Be Proactive: If you don’t see any poppage, ask them if the popcorn is fresh. 9 out of 10 theatre employees have better things to do than lie to you (I say 9 out of 10, because I understand that there is probably a 96 year old man in every theatre across America that is gonna try and talk your ear off about having the best popcorn in 6 Counties…I’ve been there).
– Be Prepared: Don’t rush the process. I always give myself 25-30 minutes before the movie starts so I can a) get a good seat, 2) see all the previews, and d) wait out a new batch of popcorn if necessary.
Nic D’s Top 5 Movie Popcorn Rankings
1. Regal Cinemas
2. Pacific Theatres
3. AMC Theatres
4. ArcLight Cinemas
T5. Carmike Theatres
T5. Mann Theatres
**Quick Disclaimer: Don’t bullshit me about your small town movie theater and how they don’t pop the corn every hour like they do in LA, or how they have crappy brands or whatever. You can’t bullshit a bullshitter – I grew up in a small town, ain’t gonna have it.